20 March 2014

Republicans don't think you can think for yourself -- or at least that's what the party's latest ad campaign insinuates

By DA | at


Alex Pareene of Salon has already done the easy work pointing out the silliness of the "Republican hipster" ad the GOP released this week. But it turns out the other video testimonials in the GOP's campaign are equally ludicrous. Here's a look at some of them.

Raquel tells us:

"When I was a kid, a family had one phone, and it only did one thing: calls. Now we've got phones in our pockets with internet, cameras, and apps. It's amazing how we're always finding better ways to do things. Why can't we find a better way to run government? Smaller, and smarter. I watch the news and it's just getting bigger and more complex. I'm a Republican because I believe government needs some new limits and new ideas."

Let's unpack this a little, shall we? Raquel's central metaphor is that cell phones are smaller and better, as government should be. But she also says that it's amazing how phones these days have internet access, cameras, and a world of apps available to them. In other words: they're more complex. See, she likes the more complex thing because it does more things for her; the old single-use phone is really the smaller, simpler, less complex option. Never mind that just because something is "simpler" it must be "better"... Raquel doesn't actually know what her metaphor is, because she just argued for a multifaceted government that can do many things for people, but concluded she wants the complete opposite.

Angel tells us:

"I don't want my kids eating junk food, and I definitely don't want them getting a junk education. They deserve the best schools and the best teachers and it shouldn't matter where we live. I'm a Republican because all kids deserve the opportunity to succeed."

Everyone agrees with everything Angel just said! The thing is, Republicans largely don't want to spend money on public schools unless there's a profit motive attached; i.e. unless there's a private company trying to run the school as a business-like enterprise. That's funny, because business-like enterprises will do all they can to exclude clients who might make their performance look weaker, whereas traditional public schools take all comers and operate from the point of view that it benefits society to give the most vulnerable children a quality education, no matter what actions their parents may take. If Angel doesn't give a damn about other people's children, then sure, go ahead and be a Republican, because they mainly support a system that is essentially a race for spots in schools that will provide quality education, and a Republican who says that he truly wants every public school in his state to have unconditional government support, just because it's better for everyone that way, is seen as some sort of maverick.

Emily tells us:

"After four years in college, I'm ready to start my career. But the job market is tough, and I've got a mound of student loans. I don't need anyone to guarantee my success, but I don't think politicians should get in the way of my future. I'm a Republican because I'm ready to take control of my future."

Do you know why you're entering the economy in a historically difficult jobs market, Emily? It's because Republicans decided their best strategy to get Barack Obama out of office was to oppose him at every turn, and that meant opposing all measures associated with him, even if they were well-conceived and generally-agreed-upon measures that would help the wider economy. Republicans even blocked direct action to create jobs at the same time they blamed the president for not doing more to create jobs. Also, the stimulus worked, but Republicans continue to block other measures that could build upon it. Who's getting in the way of your future, again?

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